Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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