Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
