Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
