im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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