Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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