Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
