I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
