Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
