that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
we should paint friendship bongs
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