the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
