unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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