Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
