we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
as a side note pls kill me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
