Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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