Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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