Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
