She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
vagina is talking i cant
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
