a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I did not marry a roomba.
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