it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
