The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
