i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
