Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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