I want to stick my p in your. b.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
