There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
