that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
