Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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