Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
