I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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