i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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