yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
