Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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