i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
