how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
