is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
