Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
