If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
