But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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