I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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