Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
