I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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