it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
ok first of all what the fuck
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
