My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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