Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
