ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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