"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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