Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
