How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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