Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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