i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
