Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
