She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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