We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
