I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
