I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he was CRYING into my vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
