very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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